They’re Eight. Chill Out.

Every weekend, thousands of kids play junior football across southern Tasmania.

Parents drive them there. Grandparents turn up. Carers organise their lives around getting them to football. Coaches coach, managers manage, volunteers put up nets and someone inevitably discovers at 8.15 on Saturday morning that one shin pad has disappeared.

I love it.

Junior football doesn't happen without these people and, overwhelmingly, they are absolutely amazing.

Then the whistle blows.

And the red fog descends.

I don't know what happens.

Perfectly normal, rational adults who arrived at the ground with a coffee suddenly become Jurgen Klopp.

KICK IT!

RUN!

PASS!

SHOOT!

GET BACK!

Then Grandpa joins in from the other side.

Someone else is yelling "MAN ON!"

The coach is actually trying to coach.

And poor little Jimmy or Jenny, who is eight, has about ten adults simultaneously shouting instructions.

How on earth are they supposed to hear anything?

More importantly, how are they supposed to learn to make their own decisions?

That's part of learning to play football.

Sometimes they should pass.

Sometimes they should shoot.

Sometimes they will make completely the wrong decision.

Good.

They're eight.

That's how they learn.

And I promise you, little Jimmy's failure to square the ball to little Johnny in the Under 8s on Saturday morning is unlikely to derail his future professional football career.

Chill out.

Then there are the complaints

This is the bit I get to see as President of CRJFA.

Weekend finishes.

Monday comes.

Inbox.

The team was rough.

The players were rough.

Someone used bad language.

The referee didn't know the rules.

The referee was unfair.

A parent yelled something.

A grandparent yelled something.

Someone thought the other coach should have done something about it.

And sometimes I open the email and look at the age group.

Under 8.

FFS.

Now, before anyone gets upset, of course there are complaints that need to be dealt with.

If something serious happens, if a child's welfare is involved or behaviour has genuinely crossed the line, it needs attention.

And yes, this is part of CRJFA's role.

We want to know what is happening across our competition and CRJFA is very happy to be copied into correspondence between clubs and schools when there is a dispute or concern.

Please keep us in the loop.

But there is also a process and there is a very good reason for it.

There are around 8,000 parents and carers involved in CRJFA football every weekend. We simply cannot investigate 8,000 different versions of what happened on football grounds across southern Tasmania.

The first step is really simple.

Coaches, talk to each other.

If one team is being too physical, have a conversation.

If players are using language they shouldn't be using, tell the other coach.

If there is a problem developing on the sideline, deal with it before it becomes World War III.

Most coaches are perfectly reasonable people and most things can be sorted out with a conversation.

If the coaches can't resolve it, the next step is the club or school delegates.

Let the delegates talk to each other.

Copy CRJFA in.

That way we know what has happened, we can see how it is being dealt with and, importantly, we can also see if the same issues keep appearing.

If the delegates resolve it, terrific.

If they can't, or the matter is serious enough that CRJFA needs to become involved, then it comes to us to action.

That's our role.

Coach first.

Delegate second.

CRJFA if it needs to go further.

With CRJFA very happy to be copied in along the way.

I am always happy to reply to emails sent to me, and I do. I would much rather know what is going on than not know.

But allowing the coaches and delegates to deal with things first isn't CRJFA avoiding a complaint. It is how the system is supposed to work.

And sometimes, dare I say it, everyone just needs to chill out.

Because while the adults are still discussing the great injustice of Saturday morning, Jimmy and Jenny have probably forgotten the whole thing.

About those referees

Here's something else worth explaining about CRJFA football.

From Under 5 through to Under 12, we don't have professional referees.

They're volunteers.

The teams referee a half each.

Sometimes the two coaches look at each other and work out that it makes far more sense for one person to referee the whole game.

Maybe one coach is injured and can't run around. Maybe the other coach doesn't have a support crew. Maybe there are five freezing substitutes standing on the sideline who need to be marshalled on and off the pitch and someone needs to actually coach them.

So the adults work it out between themselves.

Excellent.

That's exactly how junior football should work.

In a world where getting people to volunteer for anything is becoming harder and harder, these people are incredibly important.

So genuinely, thank you.

Thank you to the parent who picks up the whistle.

Thank you to the coach who says, "Yep, I'll do both halves."

Thank you to the person who didn't particularly want to referee at all but realised somebody had to do it or the kids couldn't play.

We value you.

Which is why it makes me so cross when I receive complaints saying one of these volunteers was cheating.

Cheating.

Really?

Or that they didn't understand the rules.

Maybe they got something wrong.

Of course they might have.

They are volunteering to referee children's football, probably while trying to remember which kid needs to come off next and whether somebody's jumper is still sitting behind the goal.

Imagine volunteering your Saturday morning so a group of children can play football and then being accused of deliberately cheating an eight-year-old.

It's pretty damn horrible, to be honest.

It is also a fabulous way to make sure that person never volunteers to referee again.

Then next week we'll all complain because nobody wants to referee.

We can't have it both ways.

The Hobart Cup is coming

And this is probably why I am writing this now.

The Hobart Cup is nearly here.

Thousands of kids. Hundreds of teams. Grounds all over Hobart. Three days of football.

It is going to be fabulous.

It is also going to be competitive.

I know that.

Kids want to win. Coaches want to win. Parents want their kids to win. Grandparents definitely want their grandchildren to win.

Nothing wrong with that.

I love winning too.

But somewhere between wanting to win and believing an incorrect throw-in decision is a violation of our fundamental human rights, we need to find the middle ground.

There will be bad decisions at the Hobart Cup.

I can guarantee it.

There will be missed offsides.

There will be balls that may or may not have crossed lines.

There will be fouls that aren't given and perfectly good tackles that someone thinks should have resulted in a red card, a suspension and possibly a police investigation.

There will be games where the better team loses.

Welcome to football.

And remember, for our younger age groups, the person standing there with the whistle is a volunteer.

They're helping us.

They're helping your children play football.

So when the red fog starts creeping in, recognise it.

Take a sip of your coffee.

Chill out.

Let the coach coach.

Let the referee referee.

And please, please let the kids play.

Cheer for them.

Encourage them.

Clap the great stuff.

Console them when they lose.

Ask them afterwards whether they had fun.

Because one day they won't be eight anymore.

And I would much rather they remember junior football as the place where they loved playing the game than the place where Grandpa spent Saturday mornings screaming at the referee.

Although, knowing Grandpa, that might be asking a bit much.