Football, Not a Wrestling Match

There are some advantages to being an early riser in Tasmania.

While much of the country is still asleep, I can be sitting in my pyjamas and slippers, toast and marmalade in hand, watching live Premier League football from the other side of the world.

There is something rather wonderful about that.

The Premier League is the most watched football league in the world. It might be played in England, but it belongs to millions of us who organise our weekends, and sometimes our sleep, around watching it.

And this season, some things are changing.

Twenty teams will still chase the title over 380 matches. Supporters will still spend Monday mornings explaining why the referee ruined their weekend.

But the Premier League wants the game to flow better.

Less time-wasting. Less disruption. Quicker VAR decisions. Fewer soft fouls.

And one of the principles for referees in 2026/27 could hardly be simpler:

Not every contact is a foul.

Hallelujah.

Less is more

There is another rather lovely phrase in the Premier League's instructions to referees this season.

When it comes to handball:

Less is more.

Thank goodness for that.

After years in which players, coaches, commentators and probably quite a few referees have struggled to explain precisely what constitutes handball from one weekend to the next, perhaps we can stop analysing where someone's arm was in relation to their body every five minutes.

The Premier League wants to maintain a high threshold for fouls generally.

Football is a contact sport. It always has been.

That doesn't mean allowing dangerous challenges. Of course it doesn't.

But a bump is not necessarily a foul. A shoulder to shoulder challenge isn't necessarily a foul. And somebody falling over certainly doesn't automatically mean there has been a foul.

Supporters seem to agree.

In the Premier League's consultation, 96 per cent of respondents supported maintaining the high threshold for penalising challenges.

Good.

Although there is one type of contact that has always driven Ken mad.

The hugging at corners and free kicks.

It is one of his great football pet hates and, once you start looking for it, you see it everywhere.

Not a little bit of jostling for position. I mean the full embrace. Both arms around an opponent. Shirts being pulled. Players practically wrestling one another before the ball has even arrived.

Ken's response is always the same.

Surely that's a foul.

And really, surely it is.

If you've got both arms wrapped around another player and you are stopping him from moving towards the ball, what else would we call it?

Cuddling.

The Premier League is specifically asking referees to pay greater attention to obvious holding that materially prevents an opponent from playing the ball.

Good.

Maybe Ken will finally get his wish.

Let defenders defend. Let attackers attack.

But perhaps we can stop pretending that hugging someone around the waist at a corner is simply part of football.

Get on with it

Then we come to time-wasting.

Footballers have turned this into an art form.

The throw-in that takes an eternity.

The goal kick where the ball is carefully positioned, repositioned, stared at for a while and perhaps moved another few centimetres before the goalkeeper finally decides he's ready.

We've all watched it.

Now referees can begin a five second countdown when there is clear and deliberate delay.

Take too long over a throw-in and the opposition gets it.

Take too long over a goal kick and the opposition gets a corner.

Excellent.

Nothing complicated about that.

Get on with it or lose the ball.

Ten seconds. Off you go.

We all know this one too.

Your team is leading 1-0 with five minutes to go.

The substitution board goes up.

And, would you believe it, the player being substituted just happens to be on the other side of the pitch.

Suddenly he develops the walking speed of a 97 year old.

Not anymore.

A substituted player has ten seconds to leave the field.

If he doesn't, his replacement has to wait before coming on.

I suspect we are about to witness some miraculous improvements in walking speed.

The mysterious goalkeeper injury

This might be my favourite.

According to the Premier League's own survey, 73 per cent of respondents thought goalkeeper time-wasting was a problem.

But an even bigger 85 per cent thought goalkeeper "tactical timeouts" were a problem.

Of course they are.

We all know this one.

The opposition is on top. Momentum is building. The manager needs to reorganise things.

And suddenly the goalkeeper is sitting on the grass.

Oh dear.

On comes the physio.

Meanwhile, the ten outfield players wander across to the technical area, have a drink and get a quick coaching session.

A minute or two later the goalkeeper makes a miraculous recovery.

English professional football is trialling a wonderfully simple deterrent.

If play is stopped because the goalkeeper needs treatment, the team must nominate an outfield player who also leaves the pitch and, subject to the exceptions in the protocol, stays off for at least a minute after play restarts.

Now that I like.

You can still have your tactical timeout if you really want one.

But it might cost you a player for a minute.

Funny how quickly some of those goalkeeper injuries might clear up.

And then there is VAR

Ah, VAR.

The Premier League isn't getting rid of it.

But it does appear to have listened to what supporters have been saying.

The emphasis is on quicker decisions, better use of semi-automated offside technology and maintaining a high threshold for intervention.

In other words, the referee makes the decision and VAR should only get involved when there has been a clear and obvious error.

When the Premier League asked people what they wanted improved about VAR, speed kept coming up.

No great surprise there.

Only 43 per cent supported expanding the range of incidents VAR could review.

That tells us something.

People don't necessarily want more technology.

They just want the technology we've already got to hurry up.

There is one sensible extension this season.

VAR can intervene when a player has been incorrectly shown a second yellow card and consequently sent off.

But it can't go searching for second yellow cards the referee didn't give.

That seems reasonable.

Holding, hair pulling and goalkeepers

There are a few other things referees have been told to keep an eye on.

Holding is obviously one, as Ken will be delighted to hear.

Attacking players who aren't genuinely trying to play the ball and instead impede the goalkeeper will also be penalised.

Hair pulling gets clearer treatment too. A deliberate pull involving excessive force or brutality can mean red. Without that level of force, it can be yellow.

And diving and embellishment remain on the list.

Again, good.

If you've been fouled, you've been fouled.

We don't need the triple somersault afterwards.

The game people fell in love with

Football has become terribly complicated.

We talk about hand positions and silhouettes, phases of play, clear and obvious errors, semi-automated offsides and whether someone's toenail was beyond the last defender.

We watch VAR draw lines.

We watch referees stare at monitors.

We watch players waste time and then watch officials add the time back on at the end.

Sometimes you just want them to play football.

And perhaps that is what is most interesting about the direction the Premier League is taking in 2026/27.

When it asked supporters what makes the Premier League special, they talked about its speed, intensity, physicality and competitiveness.

Of course they did.

That's why we watch it.

So perhaps all these changes aren't really about changing the Premier League at all.

Perhaps they're about getting some of the rubbish out of the way and letting us see more of what made it the most watched league in the world in the first place.

Let the game flow.

Don't whistle every time somebody falls over.

Stop the deliberate time-wasting.

Do something about the wrestling at corners.

Use VAR when it really matters.

And for goodness sake, make the decision and get on with the game.

That's what I want to watch.

Even at five o'clock in the morning.

I'll provide the pyjamas, slippers, toast and marmalade.

You provide the football.

And at that hour, I really don't need a four minute VAR review.